Responsible Drinking vs. Drug Abuse: Explaining the Difference to Your Children
Most of us agree the schools are the principal educator for teaching children the "Three Rs" -- Reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic. However, teaching our young people the fourth R -- responsibility -- requires a team effort. Family and friends, teachers, business, religious and community leaders, and most especially parents all contribute to helping boys and girls learn the importance of personal responsibility and making the right choices, particularly when it comes to drinking.
Teaching your children to make responsible decisions should begin at an early age-as early as age eight or nine when it comes to alcohol. Here are a few tips designed to help you prevent underage drinking, and make it easier for your children to make the right decisions when they grow up.
Always set a good example. Be a good role model. If you choose to drink, drink responsibly. Research shows that parents are the single most important factor in their children's decisions about alcohol.
Talk openly with your children about the law. Let them know it is illegal for anyone under age 21 to purchase alcohol, and it's important to obey and respect the law. As a parent, you're likely to hear the familiar protest that "everyone is doing it." Acknowledge how difficult peer pressure can be. Explain that the law is made to protect people, NOT to prevent them from enjoying themselves. Many young people, for instance, lack the judgment and coordination to drink alcohol beverages. Their smaller size also means that smaller amount of alcohol can be intoxicating.
Remind them that there are many laws that require people to be at least a certain age before they can do something -- driving, voting, and getting married to name a few. The same goes with drinking. Discuss the fact that it's okay for adults to choose to drink -- as long as they drink responsibly. It is not okay if adults disobey the law or if they make irresponsible decisions.
Stick to the facts. Avoid using scare tactics by exaggerating the consequences of drinking or equating it with illicit drugs. The problem with this approach is boys and girls are smart. And parents aren't their only source of information. Your children are more likely to continue coming to you for help and advice if they feel you are being truthful. Rather than equating alcohol with illicit drugs, carefully explain the important differences between them. Explain that there is no such thing as responsible use of illicit drugs. Heroin and crack are illegal, and detrimental to people of all ages. Alcohol use is not. It is important that children don't draw the confusing and potentially harmful conclusion that illicit drugs are as benign as the glass of beer or wine that their parents may enjoy with dinner.
Be approachable and involved. Answer the questions your child asks about alcohol. But you can also create brief learning moments when you see a news story about alcohol, when your child shares with you something he or she's heard at school, or when there is a family occasion that includes drinking by adults. Remember to stick to the facts, explaining why children should not drink and why adults who choose to drink should drink responsibly.
You may want to discuss the subject of responsible drinking with other adults with whom your child comes in contact -- relatives, your friends, coaches and teachers. Let them know you want to teach your child at an early age to know the facts about alcohol and to understand the importance of making good choices. Encourage them to reinforce the responsible and legal behavior you are trying to teach.
By helping our children get the facts and make the right decisions, we not only help fight underage drinking, but underscore the importance of personal responsibility in the many choices our children will make, especially if they choose to drink as adults.
Dr. Lonnie Carton is an educational psychologist from Massachusetts and a recognized expert on issues concerning child development.
